I know most advertising is hype. I know this. But there are times when hype crosses the line into blatant falsehood.

On the way home today, I saw a billboard with the website:

www.visitdenver.com

The slogan?

TRY THE AIR


.... um... I've been to Colorado.

WHAT AIR???

So there I was at work, doing my drone thing, when this fellow who severely sets off my gaydar comes by and delivers a box for this.

Apparently Ryna and Phoe have made the all-girl team look enticing enough that as their bard I have finally qualified for my own toaster oven.

And it's not just any toaster oven - a deluxe Toastation two-in-one toaster oven.

Must be for bi- people.

(Box actually contained lab notebooks, but still - I laughed my butt off for a good five minutes.)

On the way home from work last night, I saw the following license plate:

TWOLVES

I spent the next day intermittently contemplating whether that person had two lives, two loves, or tw olives - and how anyone could leave out such an important letter....

... only to have my coworker suggest that the driver was probably a local sports fan and meant it to read "Timberwolves."

This is your brain.

This is your brain on an English degree with FIVE COURSES in half as many years that include an analysis of Hamlet on the syllabus.

Even a decade later. Dammit.