I'm getting a heroic amount of writing done, thanks to a generous muse and the vacation time to actually LISTEN to her. Even so, every couple of scenes I have to get up and stretch, throw in a load of laundry or something to give her a chance to regroup.

This break was time to check Random Seldom-Used Email Accounts. This generated some amusing spam-email titles, which I will now share.

Bed so well you can convert a lesbian
(Into what? And if a girl doesn't like the dick, why would giving them a LOT of it change her mind?)

Video of real couples having sex
(As opposed to fake ones?)

Feel the power in your pants
(Um...)

Give your pen\s a new life
(Undead pen\s?)

Grow your manliness today
(Cha-cha-cha-chia!)

Last Longer in Bed
(What if you want to use the wall?)

Spring isn't over just yet
(Since it snowed on Saturday, I'm not sure it's actually started...)

Turn it into a thing she will never forget
(There are a lot of horror movies I can't unthink, too...)

I might add others later, should they seem worthy.

Back to writing!

For those, like me, who miss a simpler generation of video games...

You Have To Burn The Rope

So easy, even I can beat it.

Enjoy.

Check out this video: How To Clear An Outhouse!



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More proof that if you give someone a privy, eventually they'll play with it.

You think they were checking for Harvey?

Whatever you think of pornography, it's a reality of the internet. You have an email address? Porn spam. If you have a message board? Porn spam MAGNET.

Now, having one of the aforementioned message boards, I've witnessed a lot of WEIRD porn. I try to glaze over and not look as I delete it before the unsuspecting masses be accosted by images I shall not describe because their horror is too great (in a Lovecraftian sort of way). However, on the subject of horrors from the deep, one title caught my unwilling eye.

LESBIAN HENTAI INCEST

My first thought was "oh dear gods, please let those be three separate things."

My second thought was - how do you know it's a girl-squid? And dare I ask how you can tell that the squid and the girl(s) are related?

I'd say I'm glad Lovecraft isn't around today, but apparently he's not necessary.

Or maybe that was him, just reincarnated....

(Interestingly enough, my spellchecker doesn't know what "hentai" is. We should all be so lucky.)

(In other less disturbing news - I sprained my thumb falling UP a flight of steps. Yes, I'm just that cool.)

Had a couple songs running through my head a few weeks back... I recognized them immediately as being from a cassette my best friends, the twins across the street, owned when we were kids. Unfortunately, I had no earthly idea of the name of the band... and was apparently too stupid or too lazy to try googling some of the lyrics.

My company has one of those things, as many companies do, where you can post the stuff you're trying to offload and hope some poor sucker will indeed give you $25 bucks for your crapass sofa (or, my company being full of yuppies as it is, $2k for a dining room set when it's two years out of date and its owner wants to redecorate). Someone had a bunch of CD's for sale for a buck each, so I emailed him to ask for the listing.

Sure enough, among the surprisingly eclectic list, one title smacked me in the face. Couldn't have come up with it on my own - but recognized it instantly.

Apparently my garage sale muse is gearing up for a good season.

(Side note - I listened to it and proved once again that you really can play any adult material you like in front of kids and it'll go right over their heads. "Every night I rock myself to sleep / thinking about you" does NOT involve either a rocking chair or an electric guitar, which was a point of debate between my friends and me. Suddenly I understand why their mom was trying so hard to keep a straight face...)