Why is it such a foreign concept that a girl might want a simple pair of cotton panties, in your basic white and your basic black (and preferably not in that microfiber crap that rides like hell), without paying six bucks a pair to cover her ass?

And why is it that if you get one of those multi-packs, the manufacturer insists on having at least half of the pairs in some obnoxious color and pattern of the sort that department stores keep telling us is hip for dorm rooms? My prospects for for getting invited to a dorm room for hot lesbian sex are pretty poor at the moment… but if I wound up with a girl who (gods forbid) actually decorated with that crap, I don’t think it’s going to be a huge turn on for my pussy to match the pillows!

I’m just sayin’.